Mothers Day

Most holidays I simply ignore. When I met my husband he informed me that he was holiday challenged. That suits me just fine. No stress. Saturday I was in a department store shopping for a bedspread for the guest room. I think my stepson took the one I had on the bed with him the last time he was here. Anyway, I found something that would work and handed the cashier my debit card. She put my bedspread in bag and told me I could pick out some roses then I remembered it was Mothers Day. For a brief instant I thought I was going to cry. I didn't. I picked out a bouquet of half a dozen roses -- pink and yellow. I wondered if my husband who was with me at the time picked up on that moment. I didn't ask him and I won't.

The roses are beautiful and I spent some of today sketching them. I did make my strawberry cake though I had so much wine Saturday night I had no recollection of eating any. A set back. I had been doing so much better. No alcohol tonight and I hope none next week. I try very hard no to drink during the week.

Speaking of Mothers Day. I didn't do anything for my mother. I don't have a good relationship with my parents. I went to see them this Christmas. It had been nine years since I saw or spoke to them. They were glad to see me. I didn't really get much out of it. Mainly I want my parents to feel forgiven. Especially my dad. He sent me a note after the visit saying that he was sorry and that knew he had not been a good father. I never ever thought I would hear those words. I haven't talked to them since Christmas. I keep thinking I should do something but I have no idea what. The truth is I simply don't like them that much. I am trying to be a better daughter but seeing them takes me back to the past. A past I would just as soon forget.

Update

It has been awhile since I last posted. I sold my house. Lost money. A lot. A whole lot. But it's funny how you can (eventually) accept something like that and move on. At least the taxes and insurance aren't sucking the life out of me. The project I am working on is ending. I put in my notice. I will be going home to Charleston on May 21. My husband is so happy. So am I.

I don't know what I will do for income when I go home but I have some ideas and plans. I got a small place in a consignment shop. I have some antiques there and one of my paintings. I hope to use the space to test the market for my work. The space is very reasonable and I have had fun with it.

I plan to focus on drawing rather than painting this weekend. Well, we're also going to cook. My husband and I are pretty good. Stawberries are in here. I want to try a homemade stawberry cake. Something I have never tried before.

Memorial day weekend marks our fifth wedding anniversary. We never had a honeymoon so we are taking a vacation. We are not going far but I am so excited. Life right now is good. I have decided that this year (fifty) is my year. Last year was a black year. Not my blackest but right up there. This year, I am determined, will be different.