Mothers Day

Most holidays I simply ignore. When I met my husband he informed me that he was holiday challenged. That suits me just fine. No stress. Saturday I was in a department store shopping for a bedspread for the guest room. I think my stepson took the one I had on the bed with him the last time he was here. Anyway, I found something that would work and handed the cashier my debit card. She put my bedspread in bag and told me I could pick out some roses then I remembered it was Mothers Day. For a brief instant I thought I was going to cry. I didn't. I picked out a bouquet of half a dozen roses -- pink and yellow. I wondered if my husband who was with me at the time picked up on that moment. I didn't ask him and I won't.

The roses are beautiful and I spent some of today sketching them. I did make my strawberry cake though I had so much wine Saturday night I had no recollection of eating any. A set back. I had been doing so much better. No alcohol tonight and I hope none next week. I try very hard no to drink during the week.

Speaking of Mothers Day. I didn't do anything for my mother. I don't have a good relationship with my parents. I went to see them this Christmas. It had been nine years since I saw or spoke to them. They were glad to see me. I didn't really get much out of it. Mainly I want my parents to feel forgiven. Especially my dad. He sent me a note after the visit saying that he was sorry and that knew he had not been a good father. I never ever thought I would hear those words. I haven't talked to them since Christmas. I keep thinking I should do something but I have no idea what. The truth is I simply don't like them that much. I am trying to be a better daughter but seeing them takes me back to the past. A past I would just as soon forget.