The depression is bad this weekend. I can't stop thinking about ending it all. I am discouraged, afraid, and very, very sad. Strange but blogging, even to no one, seems to help. I am only marginally employed and losing my a__ in the real estate market. I am going broke and I am afraid.
I have been working out of town away from my husband, home, and pets. I am grateful for the work but being away hasn't been good for my mental health. "COPE!" I tell myself. "One day at a time." "Breathe." "Just take it as it comes."
I never really launched a career in law. My son was very ill while I was in law school. He was eventually diagnosed with bipolar disorder. He was in an out of treatment centers. He killed himself just months after I passed the bar. He was seventeen. He was a great kid. I hate that I passed mental illness on to him. I beat myself up for all the mistakes I made.
The sun is out. I will try very hard to feel its warmth.
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Hi, I have Bipolar disorder and would definitely like to folow your blog. I hope I am not being to forward but I am writing about my story living with Bipolar past, present and future. I am more on the depressed site.
ReplyDeleteMy blog is
emeila-believingandliving.blogspot.com
I can relate to everything you are going through. Some tips that have helped me is writing, so keep on it. My old online support group that I was on would send virtual hugs so here is one from me to you. hugs Em:)
I would like to follow your blog and hope I could be a good listener:)
Real quick, do you have a crisis hotline you could call when you are feeling so awful? here is my old support group that really helps. dailystrength.org or com They have crisis hotline numbers or you could google them.
ReplyDeleteyou wanting to give up is your depression talking in my opinion, my heart goes out to you. Can you also call your Docs in case of emergency.
I also meant to say I am more on the depressed side not site oops
Em:)