The depression still lingers. Right now I live at an Extended Stay America while I work out of town. The work will not last much longer. I'm not sure what I will do next. The anxiety is feeding the depression.
I put my house on the market yesterday. It was rented. I can't afford the taxes and insurance. If my house doesn't sell, I will be in a really rough position. But there are so many people suffering and in far worse positions. I read a book recently "same kind of different as me." It's about a homeless man befriended by an art dealer. After reading it I became ashamed of how despondent I become. Some people have had it so much harder.
I do have things to be grateful for. I have a fantastic husband who is loving and supportive. I have good health. I have a warm, safe place to sleep every night. I am really grateful that I can sleep. I don't know what I would do if I had depression and insomnia. When I am down, I sleep about fourteen hours per day. When I put my head down at night I am often tormented by haunting memories of the past and by my fear of the future. I tell myself "you are warm and safe" then fall asleep.
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"You are warm and safe"…and not alone, I look forward to reading your blog. For what it's worth, I don't understand your pain - but, I'm willing to learn…willing to share.
ReplyDeleteThank you for stopping by and for leaving a comment. I visited your blog. You look young, beautiful and full of life. I hope you never have depression.
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